Our required text for this class is Called Art and Fear, Observations On The Perils (and Rewards) of Art making, written by David Bayles and Ted Orland
I just read the first two chapters and found myself unable to put the book down to write a response to those chapters. I spent my whole life telling myself that I'm not a good artist, but I knew I loved it to much to just walk away from it. I avoid showing my art because I feel so embarrassed by how bad I think it is. I've always kept my artwork reserved for only the closest of people. I trust them and know that they would be more likely to understand it and not think less of me. I've always had "big ideas" but avoided turning them into reality because I was afraid of what the reaction to it might be or that they might not turn out to be successful. In short I am crippled by my own fear of making art that might not be very good. What if I've wasted all these years and I really am a joke? What if I should be looking for another profession? What if I am ?
not any good?
The first and second chapters talk about difficulties artist face and the difference between those who continue to make art and those who quit. I've found so many things that get in the way of me making art these days. There seem to be so many obstacles anymore that sometimes the idea that I need to make art seems exhausting. The older I get the more I seem to have put onto my plate. Some days I feel that I might suffocate under all the things I'm juggling. Another issues is that I just don't know what kind of art I want to make anymore. I've spent so many years making art that I was told to make. I have no idea where to start with out that direction, and I don't even know what kind of art I would even like to make. I find the freedom almost limiting if that can make any sense. . .I know I have a need to make art, I feel the difference with in myself when I don't, but I don't even know where to start anymore. My ideas seem to be everywhere.
